Condaleezee Tilhasteezee is back

She's Baaaaackkkk...
Yes the promoter of doom and gloom, the proponents of "birth pangs" that have a high child mortality rates, is back to stun us with more of her wisdom.

Apparently she cares oh so much about us, enough to allow the Israelis to butcher as many as they like of our people and get away with it, to keep parts of of our land and get away with it, to destroy the country's infrastructure and get away with it, to keep maps of cluster weapon positions to themselves and get away with it, but still, she loves us , she really really does.

Now, her latest efforts are aimed at derailing talks between the opposition and the majority. Just the fact that CT wants to stop them is a sure sign that they MUST keep going.

Will They, Won't They....

...decide on someone by November 12th that is.
Who knows? Who cares?
OK we still care, but only just.
At least they're meeting again. They put us through all this shit for two years and have left it till now to finally realise that time is indeed running out for this country.
What pisses me off the most, is that they'll probably smile and hug and kiss when they see each other like long lost pals, and they'll probably sit down and have dinner and a drink, while they let us stew.
Whoever you choose, get it over and done with already, so we can move on to the next chapter in the story. Knowing Lebanon, the next chapter is very likely to be worse than this one, but hey, we can still hope, right?

EID MUBARAK

Kil Sineh w into bkheir everyone.

My bodygaurds have an average age of 12....

No, not my bodygaurds, but Aouns' bodygaurds. I won't post the pictures of the idiots training or "picnicking" (as per the original description by our favorite fruit flavoured opposition group). If you are interested you can see the photos on Blacksmith's blog: the "combatants" are just a bunch of imbeciles who were too young during the civil war (or not even born yet) to realise that war is not a fun filled computer commando game.

The FPMers must assume we are all idiots or something, I would have had a little more respect if they just admitted that they were doing what everybody else was doing: preparing for the next civil war.

Allah yesa3ed hal balad 3ala el hameer illee 3aisheen feeh.

And yes, as Mustapha on Beirut Spring points out , Hizballah's arms are giving everybody the excuse and incentive they need. If he has a toy I can have one too. Unfortunately their guns aren't toy guns and the death and destcution is going to be very very real.

I wonder if there is ANY hope left for this country.

Who's setting Lebanon on Fire?

Several fires have started in forests in several different and unrelated areas today, all in one day. What is happening here?

things currently going on in this country, incase you're interested.


There's the arrest of an Israeli-German-Jewish-Muslim-Gay guy with a boyfriend from internal security forces, who's gun has was found at a murder scene with the dead body.

There's the useless opening of Parliament for the first time in months which resulted in no voting and no new president.

....and there's a terrorist maniac on the loose that everyone has conveniently forgotten about in that usual Lebanese way (if we don't think about it , it doesn't exist).

Just another normal day in Lebanon.

OK, that was an emotional response yesterday. I literally vented out the minute I heard the news, if you are Lebanese, I think you'd understand.

I am so utterly and completely fed up with this situation, the chaos, the murders, the corruption, the playing with our fate for ulterior motives. Every time they kill one of the politicians, they also take with him a few innocent bystanders, that's so many families devastated that day, so much death and destruction visited upon us by these agents of misery and evil.

So once again I give my condolences to all those who lost members of their families yesterday. May the souls of all those who died rest in peace.

Another one down....

Yes folks, over here in Lebanon, you don't need to win any elections, you can just paralyze the country and wait till enough of the majority is assasinated, 'cause that is a sure fire way that they lose their majority.

If you are of a sensetive nature please stop reading now, what I am going to say is not very eloquent but will express exactly how I feel right at this moment:

Fuck Hizballah the traitors. You have betrayed the people of your own country, you have stood with their killers against your own brothers.

Fuck all of March 8 all together and every little useless hizbs that makes them up.

Especially fuck Aoun, hey Aoun baby , another one has died you wanna run for his seat? What an opportunity, it can't be missed.

Fuck the Iranian Government and all their backwards rulers, and fuck the people who are letting them influence this country, as if we didn't have enough backwards neanderthals living here already, you now go and import some from a foreign country.

But most of ALL and the biggest SCREW YOU and FUCK YOU goes to Bashar and the whole Assad Family and their Syrian Mafia.

Israelis send jet fighters to Syrian airspace: what will Syrians do in return?

Whatever the cause of this mission, testing Syrian air defenses, checking on weapons load going to hizballah, testing out a route to bomb Iran, or checking for new nuclear installations, we now wait with baited breath at the Syrian reply!

Will they send Syrian jet fighters back to bomb (or the latest euphemism for bombing"drop munitions") on the Israelis and violate their airspace in return? Will they send a few warning rockets into the North of Israel?Will they launch a major offensive to free the Golan Heights?

Ha ha ha, yeh sure.

They complained to the UN and they will do absolutely nothing else. Our dear regional bullies are a bunch of big fat COWARDS.
They'll just hope that the incident will "go away" with time as people move on to other news. Isn't that what they have always done?

Old Joke: how long will the Syrians fight the Israelis? Answer: till the last Lebanese breath.

The strange case of Shaker el-Abssi..

There is a body lying in the morgue, and nobody knows who it is.

The wife still insists it's el-Abssi, he was also identified by the religious sheiks from the camp who were trying to mediate with fateh-al islam during the war, but the DNA tests comparing his DNA to his children's and brother's DNA show it is not him. What's going on here?

From the wife's side several things could be going on:
1) the most logical is that the woman lied so that her husband would have as much time as possible to get away
2) or she didn't lie, the wounds were so extreme she made a mistake
3) she cheated on her husband and his kids aren't his (though that doesn't explain the brother's DNA not matching)

From the DNA side
1) they messed up the DNA test - though this is highly unlikely
2) the DNA test gives a 99.99 chance that it is right, well that means there is a 0.01 chance it is wrong, and maybe the statistical jackpot has just struck this time.

From Shaker al-Abssi's side
1) Maybe this was never Shaker el-abssi in the first place , just someone impersonating him, and everyone including his wife has been fooled into thinking it was him (I mean she couldn't have seen much of him during his life, what with him being in prison and fighting one cause after the other).

Okay that last one is a bit of a stretch, I've been watching way too much TV lately (coupled with my Arabic disposition to seeing conspiracies behind every event).

The most likely thing is that his wife is a lying cow and the man either escaped or is lying under the rubble of Naher el Bared somewhere.

BBC:Former Pakistani Prime Minister Nawaz Sharif has been deported within hours of returning from exile....

....will Saad H. please come back to Lebanon now? We do have a few "issues" pending over here if you hadn't noticed.

Naharnet Newsdesk: Aoun Hints at Formation of Parallel Government...

...which will be immediately recognised by Syria and Iran and no one else and will thus function very very very effectively. Yislamleh habalo, did he not learn the lesson from the last time he did the "parallel" thing?

Al-Nahar:DNA Result Reportedly Did Not Match Abssi's

Oh F*%k, S%#t and B%*&$%!

Lessons from Naher el Bared

The victory of our Army against the maniacs in Naher el Bared has united the Lebanese for the first time across most of their factions behind one cause, a very rare situation in Lebanon. A few lessons might be learned by different stakeholders in this conflict:

1) any Lebanese idiot who supported al-qaeda extremist salafist idiotic ideology will now have to think twice about acting on or voicing such an opinion, so al-qaeda's support base in Lebanon is more or less annihilated for the time being (a point discussed by Mustapha on his blog, Beirut Spring)

2) the army's prestige and uniting presence has been elevated to its highest point I can remember. Their inginuity and bravery in the battle (are they going to patent the helicopter manual bombing system?) and the fact that they won despite an utter lack of resources, only reminds makes us more grateful and supporting of them.

3) Hizballah lost points by setting a red line which was crossed and erased, as well as by the fact that their fighters/weapons were seen as not useful to the WHOLE of Lebanon, only being mobilised by their religious leaders for one area of the country, and against only one enemy.

4) The Palestinians will hopefully have learnt not to harbour such foreign criminals inbetween them and allow them to grow and fester (the palestinain salafi's are another problem they need to solve).

5) That's one camp that hopefully will never be allowed to self police or carry weapons ever again (if you believe the media sources), 3qbal the other camps. What other country on Earth is FORCED to allow non-citizens to carry weapons I ask you?

Victory

It is over. Lebanon won.

Thankyou to all our brave soldiers who fought and died for their country.
Thankyou to the Red Cross Workers, always willing to perform their duty even in the line of fire.

poor old Suleiman...

Have a pity on poor old Suleiman. The peace loving imbecile believes he is surrounded by murdering assassins out to get his buddies. I mean really, can anyone imagine Sanioura "out for the kill"?
Why does anyone still give this idiot airtime?

SURPRISE!!!!!!

So let's take a guess at what the surprise could be:
-a sleeper cell
-a weapon of "relatively" mass destruction
-anti-aircraft missiles (that actually work)

are my three top guesses, what are yours?

and why or why do I have the feeling the surprise will bring more destruction on our heads than on Isreali heads?

So he has his own army, starts off wars by himself without bothering to consult the government or any elected officials, has his own private telephone network running alonglside the official telephone network, his people function completely out of reach of the law, he has his own stock of weapons which he uses only when he feels like it (we could have used a few of your weapons in nahr-el-bared buddy), and has personal communication with heads of state of other countries.

So here's my question, why doesn't he stop the pretense and just form his own new country and get it over and done with already?

At least it was democracy...

Yes, whoever won in the end, even if it wasn't our side, it was a pretty democratic election process. I'm sure there will be appeals and so on and so forth, but Aoun won.
There weren't any major security incidents so mar2et 3ala kheir elhamdillah. Lets hope all sides keep cool heads in the coming few days until the major tensions pass.
I wonder though, when the poor bloke will see the inside of the parliment as his ally Nabih said he doesn't recognise the results and won't open the parliment anyway. I wonder if there is any country in the world where one person can decide to keep the parliment closed like this. We are an interesting bunch , us Lebanese.

Oh yeh, Itani won in Beirut. It's good to know us Beirutis are united in where we stand.
Some poor bloke who ran against him got only 13 votes.
He must have a very small family.

And they're off.....

...to the polling booths that is.

Right now all I care about is that the voting goes off without any violence.

Once the voting is over, then we can let out that breath we've been holding in all day, and start thinking about results and their consequences.

The metn elections: are they a good thing or a bad thing?

First I'll get the obvious out of the way: it's in extremely poor taste to run against a man who's running for a post that opened up due to the assassination of his son. I am not one who enjoys seeing "inherited" political positions, though I must say , in case of assassinations, even I will suspend this credo against inbred transfer of posts. In this case of course, there is a double tragedy in that not only is this an assassination related inheritance, but it's also a reverse-inheritance, from son to father.

However, that fact aside, I wonder how bad is it for the election to be contested:

In the event that Gemayel wins, the post remains in the hands of M14, and the opposition can't claim that the election was bogus because it wasn't signed in by Lahood, because they actually ran in it. (I know Aoun is contesting the elections as well as running in them, such schizoid behaviour is beyond my understanding so I will just ignore it for now).

If Aoun wins, well that's pissy, but that's the democratic process for you, and aren't we all claiming that we want a proper democracy (even at the cost of our respective side)? Again, if he wins, then the post will move over to the pro-syrian side which is bad, but at least Aoun is faux pro-sryian and there is hope that he will later (be forced by circumstances to) revert to his original anti-syrian tenets. Also, if Aoun does win, his team will be branded as the kind of heartless mobs who find ways of taking advantage of someone else's tragedy.

My big fear is that all hell will break loose when one side loses, and somebody must lose every time .